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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? by Stephen A. Dantes

(Lucian version) 

 

chicken crossing 

Respondent #1:

I have received intelligence from my police counterparts,
indicating there is a chicken. And the chicken has been paid to assassinate me.
I am not afraid, but it saddens me to see the state of our chicken coop.

 

Respondent #2

A mercenary chicken…? Is this proof or poof?
I did not hire any chicken to assassinate anyone.
If there is a plot to assassinate, it’s not me.
I want to represent my people with a clean slate.

 

Respondent #3

I am a voice for all young chickens oppressed by the system.
I believe that that particular chicken, was fed up with the nasty politics and injustice.
What are we doing when we kill the hopes of all our young chickens?
Are all those veterans blind?

 

Respondent #4

Chicken City, this is my road.
The chicken did cross the road, but why?
I know that the chicken was tired of the system pissing in its eyes and calling it rain.
However, the government is duty bound to investigate every allegation about chickens,
regardless of how apparently preposterous or petty.

 

Respondent #5

How is me uh?
I dunno nothing about no chicken uh.
Choops!

 

Respondent #6

Every chicken has a right to sell itself and cross any road without fear or victimization.
And if this chicken needs support, we are ready to rally around this chicken.

 

Respondent #7

What really makes me mad;
Is all these chickens, crossing roads and not obeying traffic signs, or any signs for that matter.
How long are we going to stand for this?

 

Respondent #8

Do you have evidence that the chicken crossed the road?
I am not saying that it didn’t.
I am only asking.
Is your evidence credible and are you sure it was a chicken?

 

Respondent #9

Allegedly… Pon.
Apparently… Pon.
A chicken cross da road to check a rooster on the other side,
But allegedly… pon,
Apparently…pon,
De rooster have two other chickens on a side, an a jabal chicken dong deh.

 

Respondent #10

Headphunkers,
I may not know why the chicken cross the road,
But I am taking this photo with the chicken now,
so that in 5 years time when the chicken gets famous, the picture will be worth millions.

 

Respondent #11

Well, from the time chickens heard that we lost our franchise,
they started migrating.

 

Respondent #12

Maddddeeeee….
I forgot to erase the road.
Let Cocoboy and Giraud see dat bird, Maaddeeeee

 

Respondent #13

Fyah gah burn…
Fyah gah burn you,
Fyah gah burn that chicken.

 

Respondent #14

The chicken didn’t cross the road intentionally.
It did that deliberately.
And it had intentions to kill the hen.
But if the chicken had a fren, rooster was his name.

 

Respondent #15

Irrelevant detail.

 

Respondent #16

We spent millions of dollars constructing roads.
We had no cost overruns.
We can’t afford to have chickens crossing roads.

 

Respondent #17

There have been increased economic activities in areas where chickens have been known to cross.
We expect an increase in visitor arrivals for non-chicken crossing areas as well.

 

Respondent #18

Lòt koté.
Ma ni tan.

 

Respondent #19

Dat chicken must be for King.

 

Respondent #20

These chickens must learn to stay in their sections.
Are you sure that anybody saw king? … I mean, saw him?. .  I mean saw it?

 

Respondent #21

Mwen pas ka understanding sé chicken sa la.

 

Respondent #22

The chicken did not cross the road.
As a matter of fact there was no chicken.

 

Respondent #23

Because it was too far to fly

 

Respondent #24

I didn’t know of chickens trying to unseat me.
I now realize that chickens were crossing roads at a time when it was beneficial to them.
These chickens should have never been part of my coop.

 

Respondent #25

Dat chicken don’t love me
Dat chicken never loved me
Dat chicken dunno how to love
Dat chicken love all others but me

 

Respondent #26

The chicken must have been a player.

If not, well the chicken must have been gay.

 

Respondent #27

Chickens and little hens,
Roosters of all ages;
Fear not,
For the chicken-crossing era has dawned upon us.
Hold fast onto your feathers cause it is inevitable that all chickens cross this road.

 

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